Wednesday, December 30, 2009

playing both sides to the middle...

depending on the outcome of a series of physicals, outfielder Jason Bay will be joining the New York Mets for the next 4 to 5 years. Great news depending on who you talk to. i can say the constellation is pleased. Adding another bat to a healthy lineup is just what the doctor ordered. Sure, GM Omar Minaya still needs to scour the streets for pitching but this isn't about the Mets, other than the fact we can be sure, as Met fans, that going into the New Year our ship isn't being steered by a complete simpleton. Temper your distaste, Omar's job is whole lot easier than the one my friends Knicks GM Donnie Walsh and Coach Mike D'Antoni have been knee deep in over at the World's Most Famous Arena for the past year and a half...

when i wrote for The TORCH, St John's Official Student Newspaper back in the early nineties i used to receive correspondence from Walsh, who was working as the Indiana Pacers top PR guy. He would keep me up to date on the comings and goings of SJU alum Malik Sealy, that is before Malik was traded to Minnesota and ultimately died tragically in an auto accident a few years later. i would foolishly ask for press credentials to Knick games when the Pacers were in town, i mean; its 1994—playoff tickets are too much to ask for? Walsh eventually went on to run the basketball operations over in Indianapolis until the room got too small with Larry Bird joining him in the front office. Walsh came home to NYC and inherited a Knick franchise in absolute disrepair...

fast forward to the current state of the Knick winners of 9 of their last 14 after starting 12-19 overall after starting 1-9. D'Antnoni has found a strong and short rotation. A hallmark of a team on mission is a good, tight 8 man rotation. The best teams in the league practice this philosophy. It identifies a players role and keeps play consistent. D'Antoni has received a little heat from fans and an agent about the 12 games Nate Robinson has sat on the bench with a DNP-Coaches Decision. Robinson is a fan favorite to be sure, and a favorite of mine, personality wise, but i can clearly see that he doesn't quite fit the program here. He might get his time at some point, especially if Larry Hughes play continues to ebb, but the mission here is to make the playoffs and if D'Antoni feels he's better off playing a guard rotation of Chris Duhon, Larry Hughes, and Toney Douglas then so be it. There is no lottery pick to play for, that is, unless your Utah Jazz fan. So playoffs ahoy...

Walsh has molded the current roster to allow for the largest amount of room under the salary cap to use next year in 2010 NBA Free Agency Bonanza. But there is still a piece of dead weight drowning any dream of LeBron James, Chris Bosh or the like. That dead weight is Eddy Curry, signed to the teeth for the better part of the next two years and not playing a minute ever since Jonathan Bender came from the gas station to take those 5-10 minutes away from him. Not that he was playing consistently well or, for that matter, consistently or well. Curry has been an abomination, the poster boy for an administration gone insane when Isiah Thomas reigned over the Franchise. Curry needs to go, no money down, and cash back. Imediamente!...

then comes news from Houston that oft-injured, former next Michael Jordan, Tracy McGrady was sent home by Rockets management as they try to work a deal to get him out of town. McGrady wants meaningful minutes and a chance to prove his worth after micro-fracture surgery. Hmm, maybe we can do business here...

let's sum it up, neither Nate Robinson or Eddy Curry are happy and there is no answer for them as to when they will ever see the court again as anything more than a spectator. The Knicks need to clear cap space by jettisoning Curry but need to give a prospective trading partner something of worth in return. With no first round pick to speak of and a squad improving everyday with the emergence of David Lee's and Danillo Gallinari's all-around games and a team defense that has kept opposing teams shooting poorly and turning the ball over a Knick fan should be screaming for the playoffs, and D'Antoni and Walsh should be doing everything in their power to make that happen, while not jeopardizing cap space for next year...

I propose trading for Tracy McGrady and the Rockets 2010 first round pick, offering in return Nate Robinson, Wilson Chandler and Eddy Curry. That makes Robinson happy, and gets Curry off the books for the next two years. Sure, i like Chandler's game, but there seems to be a disconnect between where he is as player and talent and the next level. Not to mention the 2010 free agent class is filled with better players who do the same thing. McGrady's contract is dust next June. McGrady's is a dyed in the wool scorer. A finisher, exactly what the Knicks need late in games when the pick and roll disappears. He is a perfect fit for a team starving for playoff experience and a team looking for a quick affair, not a long term relationship. Its exactly what McGrady wants, minutes on a team with something to prove, because he has something to prove as well. A good finish and a challenge in the first round of the playoffs and McGrady all but sews up his last professional contract somewhere else. Meanwhile the gaping hole that was once a multitude of attitudes and bloated contracts will go the way of Keyser Sose. Gone...

left will be a chasm of wants and dreams. LeBron? Sure, although he is a bit of a black hole and probably won't leave Cleveland. I'd rather lock up expiring contracts like Lee and Jared Jefferies, who has finally come around as the Knicks all purpose, do-all, cover anyone, take the charge, and hit the floor for the loose ball defensive specialist. Signing Chris Bosh would be another coup, giving us an All-Star post presence, rebounder and shot blocker, and probably should be the Knicks #1 priority. How badly do you think he wants out of Toronto? Layer in Joe Johnson, who thrived under D'Antoni in Phoenix and start making reservations for a perennial trip to the playoffs. Its like the NBA gods have finally seen fit to offer this opportunity to long suffering Knicks and their loyal fans, which right about now amounts to Spike Lee and myself, and i'm not sure about Spike...

make the deal Donnie, you can thank me later...with finals tickets...

Thursday, December 24, 2009

bringing that beat back...


t'was the night before Christmas, i was probably 7 or 8 years old. We ended up at the house of pa duke's old co-worker after spending the lion's share of the evening at my great-grandfather's house in Lynbrook, it might have been his last Christmas, details are sketchy when your 7...

the Rabinis had just sat down to their 15th meal of the day—they are Italian after all, so we stopped by. I had grown tired of the noise and hullabaloo, and retired to the cold and dark of the old brown station wagon although, at the time, we hadn't had it for very long. This was not an unusual event, i like my alone time, even when i was 7 or 8. Solace is one my favorite things...

i remember sitting there, with a smurf stuffed toy and deciding i had enough, went back into the house, walked over to my mother and requested that we wrap up the evening. After some pouting and some ribbing from the senior Rabini, we packed up the ship and my family and i started the journey home. During the ride my brothers began clamoring to my parents to open up presents that night rather then Christmas morning. If i was 7 then the elder would be 12 and the bastard would have been 10. They had grown into their cynicism by then and eschewed the idea of a Santa Claus. At some point, it might have been the elder, again semantics, who turned to me and said, 'you know there's no Santa Claus, right?'...

i've heard stories of this traumatic event played out many times by many people since, but for me there was no surprise, no horror, not even a blink before i said, 'yeah.' That settled it, the tradition of the Christmas Eve would be born. You see, even back then i was a full time resident of the constellation of logic. By pure scientific method i had already deduced that Santa could not exist. i was a good kid, stayed out of trouble, was fairly respectful and represented all prerequisite behavior that guarantees a swift delivery of whatever i asked for come Christmas morning. Two years before i had made my desire plain and simple. All i wanted for Christmas was a drum set...


i never received my drum set, which led me to believe that Santa Claus was probably some sort of control set long ago to keep kids in line. Not really, not back then at least, but its my story and i'm sticking to it...

i like the Christmas season, especially here in the big city. For all its manic, ultra-commercial, cut-throat self, it still breeds a togetherness as a people. Its one of the few things that still has the ability to foster that feeling in the modern world. i don't need Santa Claus or Baby Jesus to tell me so, it feels inbred...

so although we propagate tall tale after tall tale to our children, and feed into the machine like good little drones, i do sincerely wish you all a merry Christmas...

i gave up the dream of getting that drum set i always wanted, these days i wish for better times and getting a day closer to my Cat Mom. i'm easy, but if i wake up tomorrow to find a snare, bass and ride cymbal waiting for me then i'll take it all back...

merry Christmas to all and to all a good night...

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

midnight obituaries

upon telling the Land Rover that i was a writer he retorted 'what do you write, obituaries?'...

well...

[Rodrigo Rodriguez] was unfortunately named. He grew to be an intrepid entrepreneur and an Undercover Baptist. He loved the lord as long as the lord loved him. Please send all condolences to Brian Mackle, Wilmington, N.C...

Monday, December 21, 2009

a picture is worth 1,000 words...

snow day? Hell no, get to work on 4,000 words...




Wednesday, December 16, 2009

weighing patience as a virtue...

Omar Minaya is imploring Met fans to have patience. He's got some set on him. Its difficult not to be impatient given the franchise's recent run amok. Forget the current ownership and management regime, Met fans have been served a yearly sack of fresh heartbreak since Dwight Gooden sniffed 1987 away. Listen folks, i was born into this. I have autograph pictures of John Sterns, Joel Youngblood AND Steve Henderson—what you got? At least i had Frank Cashen and Nelson Doubleday to temper the Wilpons or should i say Wilpon—back then, Jeff Wilpon was about as relevant in the organization as Jeffy from the Family Circle. So after the last few days with the sky falling and all, as well as a press conference with the sphinx himself, Omar would have us believe he and the organization have a plan and you know what? i think i believe him...

Did the Mets miss out on Roy Halladay or was Halladay calling the shots? Was Reyes actually in any trade conversation? Doesn't matter. The Mets don't have Cliff Lee or Kyle Drabeck, so they never had a chance. The Phillies have him, along with the rest of their core and a brand new sure handed third baseman with it for at least the next two years. The Phillies have made every move they could possibly make to assure themselves a stake in the big game until at least 2011, when the team's entire core does a free agent walk leaving Halladay all by his lonesome. They can't sign em' all...

Did we drop the ball by not signing Lackey? Eh, $80-85 million should be enough to get Cliff Lee next year, what's the rush? There is none, the Phillies are a better team regardless, the Phils will still take the division no matter who the Mets bring in. The team does have a chance at a wild card if they are healthy and fill some holes with quality baseball players. The Mets should be thinking about 2011 and beyond...

so how about this plan of Omar's?

i have no issue with signing Jason Bay. He is a very good bat. Especially when you put him in the mix with Reyes, David Wright and Carlos Beltran. Matt Holliday is younger and might have be a better offensive player but i have an issue with a guy who pulls the old Ahmad Abdul Rahim in the playoffs. Bay may not be Joe Rudi or Barry Bonds in their defensive primes, but he didn't drop any easy fly balls...

Nobody wants to sign Bengie Molina for more than two years. So don't. Molina has one place that will give him a three year deal and that's Columbia House. He'll sweat it and us and then sign for two, start in 2010 and be the grandpa playing once a week in 2011, or after Thole is deemed ready for everyday consumption...

Pitching?, keep it cheap and exciting. Jason Marquis wants to pitch for the Mets. OK, son, enjoy your one-year deal. Kelvim Escobar, you want in?, the price of a minor league deal is yours. Ben Sheets? Erik Bedard, Chien Meng Wang? Remember, we're not going to beat the Phillies to the top of the division, why spend too much when you can hit a goldmine instead. Jenrry Mieja and Johnathan Niese will be ready in 2011 and i still believe in Mike Pelfrey, especially at only 26 years old and he will eventually be this team's horse. John Maine is a question, i'd rather not wait around for the answer, but if you can't get value for him, you hope for a good year that eats away at his rep and trade him for some real value in July...

You don't like Daniel Murphy at first? Maybe you didn't watch any games after July. i did, and i saw a 24 year old get thrown into the fire, handle that, a slump and a benching only to finish strong and turn himself into a pull hitter, who started to find that Pepsi Porch routinely. Double in the corner. Murphy, if nothing else will be chip for use in July to make this team better. If you want first base to be any better you grab a guy like Mark Derosa. He gives you a right handed platoon at first and a break at 5 other positions. The guy can hit, and if we're devoid of good pitching performances, we'll need all the bats we can get...

There is fruit on the vine. Thole, Mejia, Niese, Ruben Tejada, and Ike Davis—all probably ready for 2011. If Fernando Martinez can finally put together a full season in Triple A count him in for '11. Wilmer Flores won't be too far behind 2012 or so. There are reasons for optimism. And patience. Maybe this is Minaya's grand master plan. Why try to go for it all, when it just isn't there yet. The clock is running on Beltran and Johan Santana, sure, but Wright and Reyes are kids, and there is still time to decide if they are right for this franchise in the future. Spending wisely and giving the little we have in the minors time develop might just be a good idea. If that's, in fact, what Minaya has in mind, then i like how he's thinking. They brought in Wally Backman to breath down necks. Backman had a job as manager of the Arizona Diamondbacks a few years back before this countries ass-backward value system jumped up to bite him the ass. i have to believe the only reason he was hired was to take over the major league job, so fear not Met fans, if things get shaky for Jerry Manuel, there is help about...

So give a little patience Met fans, its not like you've been waiting as long for a championship as us Knick fans...

nobody beats the Biz..

it's true. Nobody, but nobody beats the Biz...

Biz Markie has rapped and chilled with the legendary Juice Crew, and he appears in the video for the seminal Rob Base mega-hit 'It Takes Two.' He has released his own classic records like 'Goin' Off' and 'The Biz Never Sleeps.' He has even sung 'Bennie and the Jets' with the Beastie Boys. Lately you might have heard him here or seen and heard him here...

i guess my question is; Why hasn't biz hit the big time? i see the Biz with a talk show, a movie deal, a sit-com something. Tell me he wouldn't blow Sponge Bob or Barney out of the water hosting a kids show. Come on, someone give Marcel some dap. If i had my way the dude would be sitting lead anchor on CNN in place of Lou Dobbs...

this is a guy who had to forfeit royalties because of a landmark copyright case that changed the face of hip hop. His song 'Alone Again' ripped a sample from the song 'Alone Again (Naturally)' by Gilbert O'Sullivan. O'Sullivan sued him instead of thanking the Biz for making him remotely relevant again. The court decision requires all artists to clear their samples before releasing their records and got Biz bounced from his record contract. That's all fine and good, but do you really think the Biz is getting paid by Heiniken for using his song? Regardless where the sample comes from, ('You got What I Need,' Freddie Scott, 1968), i'm sure the Biz isn't waiting by the mailbox waiting for a check from Heiniken. i know Freddie Scott isn't...


there he is right now, above, actually crying about the loot he has lost and the loot he's not getting. Blues for the Biz indeed, he deserves a better agent...

if you need somebody with some real ideas for your career, by all means Biz, give me a call...

in the meantime, allow me to share some more of your timeless work...

my imaginary interview with...

Amy Adams...

Miss Adams has a new film coming to a theater near you Christmas Day...

Ms. Adams, does it tire you to make the same movie over and over again?...

It sure as hell is making us very irritable...

Friday, December 11, 2009

the hippocratic oath...

i could care less about Brian Kelly. i've seen his type before. Upstart coach with smaller program leap frogs to bigger program and bigger coffers. Sometimes these guys become Urban Meyer, but most times they end up becoming Ty Willingham...

i see how the University of Cincinnati could be upset. Two days ago they had an undefeated, BCS Bowl bound football team complete with a head coach—hell, they woke up in the morning with all of that in place. They probably ordered a club sandwich in the early afternoon, thinking they still had a head coach. By nightfall that was not the case. But what i don't understand is how a University that according to insider sources that i trust, paid former Lincoln High School basketball star Lance Stephenson to attend Cincinnati, could get so upset about someone taking the money...

how about Mardy Gilyard? He's a star in the making and hopefully heading on his way to being drafted by the NY Jets, although the Judge would say that us Jets fan will be cursed by getting Tim Tebow, which might not be so bad—we could run the old '747 offense' to counteract the 'wildcat'—point is, he is going to be taking the money, and that's ok, right. Several Bearcats will. I mean; when did college football grow some integrity? Lighten up fellas, is Kelly a bit mealy-mouthed? Sure. But should we get Dr. Johnny Fever to lead the charge to Kelly's crucifixion?...

i don't think i have to go any further on this, except to say that i believe Kelly will fail, ultimately, due to the fact that Notre Dame hasn't figured out that to really succeed in 21st century college football the University needs a conference, not the coach of the month...

i wonder what Bearcat alum, the cowboy feels about this, but i haven't seen him since a chance glance through the shadows a few winters ago, so i'm not holding my breath to find out...

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

day of the dead...


dec 8, the feast of the immaculate conception, as i was reminded by some sheep on facebook. But those of us who have to live in this world know better...

sure, today is also Jim Morrison's birthday and the anniversary of Dimebag Darrell's murder, both seminal moments in rock music but this planet lost a true mind and heart 19 years ago today in John Lennon...
today is the day that decaying body of JD Salinger arises from its resting place and kicks Mark David Chapman in the balls over and over again. At least, i dream that this is the case. i've said it many times before, that in losing Lennon we didn't just lose a musician or a merely a member of the Beatles. We've lost musicians since with less than a ripple in the landscape, and, with all due respect, clocks didn't stop when George Harrison died. If you're my age, ask you mother or father if they know who Dimebag is or Kurt Cobain, or Ian Curtis, chances are they don't. But Lennon, they remember Lennon—your grandparents remember Lennon...

John Lennon was a thinker, and in a world increasingly devoid of such men and women and i save my tears for these individuals. So, if you please, allow me this requiem...

merry christmas John, we miss you...

Monday, December 7, 2009

look out santino, johnny utah is on your tail...

Keanu Reeves is producing and starring in a new film, currently in production down my street called Henry Crimes. It co-stars Vera Farmiga and James Caan. The following is an excerpt of my imaginary conversation with James Caan...

'hey Jimmy Caan, what's happening, brother?'
'do i know you, kid?'
'nah, but you sure do know the doorway of my apartment.'
'oh, i'm sorry.'
'no big deal Jimmy Caan, is that for all your boys keeping me up half the night with all of
those trucks rolling in, or just for standing in front of my door like that?'
'what? We're making a movie here, kid. Ya' mind?'
'really, is that what this is? I mean; its a Keanu Reeves flick, right? Probably one of those
ne'er-do-well but makes good in and gets the girl in the end. Your the heavy right?'
'get out of here, kid, you're going to get hurt.'
'i'm just trying to be friendly here, Jimmy Caan—'
'stop calling me Jimmy Caan—'
'—tell you what, let's let bygones be bygones, come upstairs, i'll make you a sandwich.
We can watch Las Vegas. you can give me the skinny on that Josh Duhamel character, like
it seems like he's the only dude with a cock in that town...'

at this point i imagine the granite fist of James Caan crashing my face with enormous power...
end scene...

Sunday, December 6, 2009

throwing wood on the fire...

today, in Indianapolis, Major League Baseball convenes its Winter Meetings. A four day stretch of glad handing and misappropriation of funds, along with . Normally, during the meetings, rule changes are discussed. Along with representatives from every team, player agents get together and talk turkey regarding trades, free agency and other transactions. It is all part of what baseball fans refer to as 'the Hot Stove League'...

personally, i don't put much into the meetings—especially being a Met fan. GM Omar Minaya is going to spend the next four days signing his third catcher in a week and try to peddle off Luis Castillo's contract off on some unsuspecting club with an embattled outfielder. Who knows, maybe Omar will finally figure it out, now that his job is on the line, but i could care less. i want my baseball back—baseball before it got all fouled up by this promotional three-ring circus nonsense, they are calling baseball these days. i blame Fox Sports, ESPN, the owners and the players association. Money grubbing whores that make the ladies of the evening some of them are bound to be spending their time with in downtown Indianapolis look absolutely pristine. i think they owe me. I think they owe the baseball fan. Here's mhy list of demands from the winter meetings...

1. An End to interleague play— It is a plague on all of our houses. The Mets play the Yankees 6 times every year. The St. Louis Cardinals play the Kansas City Royals 6 times a every year. Hey, as a Met fan, i'll let it be known—i'm not ducking the Yankees, but there is something inherently wrong with a system that condones uneven scheduling such as this. The San Francisco Giants play the Oakland A's, the AL West's perennial-small market-bottom feeders. The Giants' rivals the LA Dodgers get to play the LA Angels the AL West's perennial division leaders. Where is the justice? Now one cares anymore, the experiment has failed. Ace the interleague and restore some of the great rivalries of the past without sacrificing division play. There was a time when the Mets and Cardinals were big time rivals. The Mets and Cubs too. Why shouldn't the Dodgers and Giants visit New York more than once a season—they are the reason why the Mets even exist!...

2. Adjust the schedule— There should be more day games, there should be double headers that are back to back and scheduled, there shouldn't be such a thing as November baseball! I know, its a money issue, but these fans have withstood all of the steroid bullshit, all the primadonna's and free agency garbage. We are in a recession and no matter what your government promises, even when things get better, they will never be the same. Its time for professional sports to tighten their belt and give a little back. Its all we have, but if you keep fucking with us fans, we will stop showing up, i mean; i hear that the New Jersey Shore show is a riot. Schedule more day games. Do you see the Cubs losing money. They pack their house every single day of the year and the majority of those games are played during the day. Scheduling more double headers would save days and prevent November baseball from occurring, maybe even shave the amount of games down to 154 and...

3. Move the World Baseball Classic to November— i know what i said about November baseball but this isn't the same. It only happens every two years, and you can play it in warm weather climates. World Series ends, take two weeks, start up the WBC. WBC ends, everybody goes home. See you next Spring. Done.

4. Threaten Contraction—There's a dirty word—contraction. Teams like the Kansas City Royals and Pittsburgh Pirates take luxary tax money every winter, and stow it away, never to be seen again. A team that can't make money in today's age of televised sports is not worth the uniform their name is printed upon. Especially in these two cities where, literally, if you build it (a team), they (the fans) will come. These are two great baseball towns. The Pirates won the very first World Series for lamb sakes. Kansas City, along with having the greatest BBQ joint on the planet, came out in droves in the days of George Brett, and they have a beautiful ballpark and the city as a whole is on the rise. Either start spending, or fold up the tent.

On the flip side, there's the idea of enacting a salary cap and floor. The Players Asscociation and players' business representatives would convulse to the point kinipshon under this circumstance, but simply put, you either agree to less money across the board for your players, or you agree to less teams for your players to play for. Its basic AIDA.

5. Let the All-Star game mean nothing— Its an All-Star game—that's it. Who thought it was a good idea for some other team's closer decide where game 7 World Series is played. Its retarded. Put an end to it. If the game is ties, you play rock/paper/scissors or, and how about this—expand the rosters.

too many times in the past the powers that be in Major League Baseball have tinkered with the game to the point of madness. It truly is a simple and beautiful game. As Judge Roughneck and i always used to comment when walking up to old Shea Stadium, with the words 'Baseball is for Kids' emblazoned on the back of the ballpark's scoreboard—'baseball's not for kids, its for us'. it is for us, all of us, how about giving something back to those of us who love it unconditionally...

now get to work, coffee is for closers—bitches...

are you listening? vol 5...sunday soundtrack redux...

'we're doing wonderful new things with burrito wraps'...

another lazy Sunday filled with football—both European and American, basketball and hockey, sandwiching laundry and the beginnings of what i hope to be the next great American recording. i have two guitars, a bass and the boy's keyboard laying about and a penchant of writing lyrics, so what the hell...

in the in-betweens i did my share of grazing...
after the mornings breakfast burrito of egg whites, onion, jalapeno, and cheddar, and a simple salad a few hours later, i through on some music and went to work on what is fast becoming signature—dal-curry. Yellow lentils, that i had pre-soaked from the last batch i cooked up, with tomatoes and carrot chopped in, cooked and combined with my curry spice, made from scratch—grape seed oil, garlic, half of green pepper (roasted), cumin, turmeric, coriander, fennel, mustard seed, cinnamon, and fresh ginger, with a little soy milk thrown in. Its starting to get pretty tasty...

after a bit i got to work on the evening's main course—falafel. Its not just for Friday's anymore...


a little prep—diced tomatoes and chopped watercress with some sesame tahini combined with a touch of garlic, lemon juice, water and salt and pepper...

then it was time to fry up my freshly made chick pea, onion, garlic, porter, soy milk flour paste seasoned with cumin, coriander, salt and pepper, balled into ovals and thrown into some hot-ass grape seed oil...

normally falafel is served in a pita. i find that pitas our too much bread for the goodness of falafel so i went another route...

voila—falafel burrito...
i added some cucumber for texture and moistness, all in all, a good time was had by all—and that would be me, myself and i. As for the soundtrack to today's events...

Blackstarr—Self Titled
The Pretenders—Self Titled
Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers—A Night in Tunisia
Prince—Sign of the Times (Disc 1)
MF Doom—Born Like This
Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros—Rock Art and the X-Ray Style

do remember falafel?...

ode to the hawk...

i began to notice it Friday morning, walking home after a swim. The leaves, for the most part, had been raked or blown away. The trees were bare of their Spring and Summer clothing, it was only a beginning...

for those who unaware, the phrase, 'the hawk is out,' is a Midwestern vernacular used when the first winds of the winter blow in. The old boy in FLA used to say it when a chill fell over the Cape for three or four days every January...

ladies and gentlemen, the hawk is out...
it was miserable yesterday as the Alberta Clipper started to creep into the once stout jet stream, but there was a beauty to it. The air smells different when the hawk flies in. It makes you want to stay in drink tea or hot coffee, under your favorite blanket and veg out. Yesterday was almost perfect...

i began by watching one of the better college football games i've ever seen in Cincinnati at Pittsburgh. The winner earns the BCS slot given to the Big East Champion. Being an alum of a Big East school that dropped its football program many years ago, i don't have much to root for when it comes to College Football. Sure, i'll root for Notre Dame because my last name is Walsh and i'll throw my allegiance towards the University of Georgia Bulldogs because i was a fan of Herschel Walker, but more often than not the College Football season is a non-issue for me. It could be because College Football is inherently unfair. There is the idea of a Bowl Championship Series that rarely actually names a dyed in the wool champion. There are the scholarships taken from other school programs for the third string punter. There is the fact that a school like Notre Dame rakes in cash hand over fist while a school like TCU barely sniffs a buck as they may very well get screwed out of a big bowl payday because they don't play in a "big-time" conference. There is the fact that college and, for that matter professional football, are responsible for the incredible influx of morons than any other extra curricular activity in the history of educational institutions. But there were the Bearcats and the Panthers playing for something in the snow, on grass, in December. Ladies and gentlemen, that's football...

after Cincy won the game in wonderful fashion, i switched over to what i call the Devil's Advocate Classic. My St. John's Redmen facing my Duke Blue Devils. i traditionally root for Duke i have for 23 years, but when they play St. John's, which they have for more than a decade now, i tend t root for my alma mater because when all is said and done, the St. John's always needs to beat the Blue Devils more than the Devils need to beat the Redmen. Duke looks strong this year. Not just winning the ACC strong, more than that, they look like a team that plans on spending their first Monday in April playing basketball. St. John's has had a rough go of it every since the night the Knicks chose Frederic Weis over the heart soul of the Johnnies, Ron Artest back in the 1999 NBA draft. Mike Jarvis took a giant shit on a long and storied program and Norm Roberts was charged, and maybe overmatched, with fixing it while keeping it clean. Jarvis cost us recruits from the New York City, rivals like UConn, Villanova, Syracuse and Pittsburgh cherry picked the best talent from the 5 boroughs and left St. John's with Fordham and Hofstra like talent. Losing seasons fell like rain. Three years ago Roberts had, what at the time no one thought anything of, his best recruiting season. Players like DJ Kennedy, Sean Evans and Malik Boothe are now juniors, and entering yesterday's game in Cameron Indoor Stadium the Redmen were 5-0 and actually looked like a team that could win some games this year. After an early see-saw and a Duke run that seemed to wrap up the game at the half, the Johnnies fought back, showed their mettle and lost respectably and with a promise. I believe this team, with a softer Big East schedule than past years, the Redmen could very well be in the hunt for the NCAAs this year, with 17 wins a distinct possibility. Playing well in games of this stature, at Duke, one of the most difficult places to play in the country, helps teach a team how to rely on each other, play through the adversity and even play well. This was the toughest game on their schedule, and even thought they lost, they showed an ability to hold their own against a team that is in a class above most of the college basketball landscape. You heard it here, St. John's will beat Duke next year in their yearly meeting, next time at home in Madison Square Garden. Ladies and gentlemen the Redmen are back...

after a trip across the street to pick up a to go order from Nick's Bistro, i watched Alabama destroy the Florida Gators and one trick pony Tim Tebow. i don't know why, i just can't stand the kid. i know, he's a great athlete, and he's a great motivator of his teammates, but he sounds like a bad TV script for the 700 Club. He represents another aspect of football along with other sports where the players actually think their god is heloing them play well or win a game. Tebow didn't thank Jesus for losing yesterday, not for throwing the bone-head interception that iced the game. Jesus must have been busy turning his attention towards the gentrification of Somalians because the come from the wrong tribe. Or maybe Jesus just rolls with the Crimson Tide. Judge Roughneck would believe that, since he's an Auburn fan and states, whole heartedly, that Jesus hates him. So there's that, and there is my passing allegiance to the U, due to my time in Fort Myers with family. The old boy is a fan of the Hurricanes and his daughter, the Doc, is an alum of the U along with being a student of its medical school. So there's that. Ladies and gentlemen, Texas doesn't belong, and the BCS still sucks...

the evening was locked up by the Rangers grabbing a win in Buffalo and a viewing of The Fugitive hence the Facebook status of 'provasic!'...

that film takes place in Chicago. When the old boy was still cutting glass for Japanese tourists up here in New York, his work used to take him to Pennsylvania and Ohio, where he met a gentlemen who once, in the midst of being perched above a marquee on an especially blustery day, had uttered that very to the old boy, 'oo boy, the hawk is out'...

went for a can of coffee early this morning, down the street. It was sunny and clear, i caught sight of my breath and thought indeed, the hawk is out...

Friday, December 4, 2009

win, lose or draw...

in the 1986 NBA Draft Lottery the New york Knicks held the worst possible chance of obtaining the number 1 pick in the draft. The Knicks buck the odds and won the lottery, drafting Patrick Ewing. Its the last time the sun shone on the New York Knickerbockers. Allegations from team owners charged the NBA with handing the Knicks the first overall pick and these charges led to the changing of the rules in such a way that a team in the position that final lottery position would have an absolutely minuscule chance of winning the first overall pick...

a lot of good that did. In 2008, the Chicago Bulls, the most blessed team in the history of the draft—a team that somehow convinced, via mind-meld, the Portland Trailblazers to choose Sam Bowie over Michael Jordan—won the draft lottery with the best record amongst all the members of the draft lottery. All of this after the 6 NBA Finals the team won with Jordan in the 1990's. So much for fairness...

in Johannesburg, South Africa this afternoon, the 2010 World Cup Draw was chosen in a similar fashion. Somehow Italy—defending champs, Spain and France end up in the easiest draws. As an American i'm not here to kick dirt for having to play England in the first game, or about Team USA's draw. i think the draw is good for this US team, which might be this countries best representative ever leading in to the cup. i also relish a chance to play the Motherland to open the tournament, a game i think the US side could win to take control of the draw as a whole, forward to the knock out stages. The team player will be crying in his ceviche...

its just bothers me how European teams especially these three would have the red carpet rolled out for them. France especially. The ultimate insult...

world class striker Thierry Henry—you might have seen him in the Gillete commercials with Tiger Woods and Roger Federer before he was booted by Derek Jeter, who apparently just started shaving—committed a hand ball foul in the seminal moment of the France's World Cup qualifying win over Ireland. The foul was not called and Henry's goal stood, France in, Ireland out. The last thing France deserves is an easy entry into the knock out stages. FIFA, the governing body of World Football, is rattling chains that they will sanction Henry for his unsportsmanlike play. Its not going to happen, and it shouldn't. The only thing that is going to make this right is to drop the referee of that game, Martin Hansson, in the middle of Dublin...

the Italian leagues have been through its own controversies, between referee bribing and the like. FIFA slapped them on the wrist and gave them another good draw...

Spain, well, their Spanish—and the 2008 European Champions, we might as well give them a cup semi birth, if not final...

i guess, shouldn't be surprised. Although it probably doesn't matter what kind of help FIFA gives to its European members, those heathens from Brazil will probably hoist the cup for the sixth time. It almost makes it worth it to know that the "beautiful game," is truly ruled by the western hemisphere...

who's Sam Bowie? Exactly...

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

change we're not quite sure of...

meet the new boss—and all that...

here we go again. Sending troops to a place halfway across the world to fight an enemy that isn't there only to incur the wraith of those very enemies we have been searching for since this whole mess started so many years ago...

Afghanistan. A barren wasteland. Principal economic value: poppy seeds and setting for the new Mad Max productions. Fifi will happy to be able to get his poppy seed bagel fresh from craft services. Really all we are talking about is a game of Risk. Yeah, the board game. Afghanistan is the gateway to the orient, as well as the buffer between that an Iran—part of the middle east in the game. In strategic terms its a transition area. If a large part of your army is based in Africa you want the Middle East to be your barrier country, using Afghanistan as a pawn in which to buffer from an Asian or Australian attack. Normally, when you hold Australia, your best course of action, after fortifying Siam, is to move westwards towards Africa, you see, Asia is too difficult to hold throughout the game so you are better off building a bridge to Africa, Africa offers the most points via continent bonus and also allows easy access to South America and Europe. In other words you save Asia for last. Ask the Chinese and the Russians how they feel about having to take over Asia, it just doesn't work out to well. Mostly because of the wasteland, the terrain and the angry individuals who have lost the genetic lottery. So why bother, you wait until you can trade in your cards for a boatload of armies and make Asia your last conquest, win the game and go home...

this isn't your older brother's game of risk—the one where he doesn't tell you the rules until they come up during the game and they are too late. The rules are simple here. Anything for the pipeline...

we have our interest back Iraq, even if the military presence has dwindled, believe you me, Chevron is all up in that as much as they are ass-deep in patents for the batteries that make the Hybrids work. There be oil up there in Asia—Kazakhstan to be exact, untapped and waiting for someone to drill the shit out of it. This is land that Genghis Khan didn't give a damn about, now its fucking Disneyland...

so if you were looking to build a pipeline from central Asia to Iraq, how would you go about it? Well there's Iran, but they have an Air Force and a terrain just as nasty as Afghanistan, so you might as well go for Afghanistan and surround Iran use sanction tactics and diplomacy to try and get Iran to change itself, and then just walk right in, all of a sudden you have the Persian Gulf and 3/4 of the countries needed to pump oil out of Kazakhstan and into the waiting tankers of Exxon/Mobil, Chevron and the like...

i bring this up merely to map out the reasons why President Obama went on TV last night, preempting A Charlie Brown Christmas, the only Christmas Special worth watching (it seems that Frosty the Snowman make 11 year-olds cry), to sell out 30,000 men and women to try and law up the lawless in Afghanistan. Meet the new boss...

things haven't quite come to pass as Obama laid them out for us this time last year—change we can believe in all that. Its getting harder to believe he'll get anything done and easier to see him turn into Jimmy Carter. This is the job, these problems aren't of his creation. The economy was weak-kneed after tax cuts in the early part of the decade and then exacerbated by getting involved in this Middle East mess to begin with. Then there is the toxic investment practices of the uber rich, the conceiving and institution of NAFTA, and the coddling of the Medical-Pharmaceutical Complex. There are the countless feckless education initiatives that have put an onus on useless numbers instead of real tangible results, like smarter, better prepared and more creative children instead of drones already halfway into their very own Matrix-pods. These things were all in place long before Obama entered the White house. That's the job, i understand. Its easier to let people tell you what to do then actually find a solution, see the former title holder...

thing is, i believed that Obama would put his foot down. That he had heard and seen enough like many of us already had. i thought this dude was going to pull a Black Belt Jones when he got in there, not merely get seduced like some Williams, i mean; nothing unusual about a President believing the hype...

Obama has to find a way to grab the power back. He needs to cut the puppet strings and flow free, because making the mistakes of a past administration because it is the path of least resistance won't endear him to those of us who expect and demand change. His administration should be on a suicide mission to get things done. The only way he won't be reelected in 2012 is if he sits back and allows the status quo...

breaks over Bro'ham, time to get up and go to work...

Sunday, November 29, 2009

code red—danger!...

thanksgiving weekends are always filled reunions, get-togethers, drinking, eating and plenty of rabble-rousing. The students come home from school, families reunite, friends spend their nights in watering holes. But with the Cat Mom still so far away weekends like this can make me feel like a man without a country...
really, i can't complain. Pop Dukes rolled out a feast that left my belly distended. As the weekend progressed i caught up with some old Tower folk, and they are just as much family as anyone else. Made time for some QV crew the next night, and caught up with the chefs tonight. Work is on the way, whether its lugging furniture or slinging drinks—either way there is a light at the end of the tunnel i haven't seen for ages. Inspiration flows regularly, even if it appears in odd places and i'm just over a month away with my own reunion with my lady. So there is plenty to be thankful for. Plenty of reason to keep my chin up. But most of all I'm thankful that there is a place called Cabrito and within this palace exists a culinary pleasure beyond imagination...

may i introduce the Danger Dog...
pictured is the El Luche Libre (right and center) and the Sonora. Not just mere hot dogs, they are indeed dangerous—and tasty...

the chefs, wilt the stilt and a-cue, brought me in on this wonder. Its fun hanging around with people in the culinary industry, all they want to do is feed you. And in the case of a-cue, advantages include a possible gig behind the bar at a new joint in Williamsburg and of course—homemade bacon!...
god bless us everyone!...

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

out of order...

update: there are two free parking spaces on Metropolitan avenue...



















this is not the work of the Department of Transportation. This was the work of a presumably drunk driver at 5 am this morning. i just happened to wake up a moment before when i heard a car pass and hit something. i knew it wasn't a building on the block or another car, those noises are pretty distinct, but with my eyes still shut and comfortable under the covers i decided to fall back asleep while the sound of the anonymous driver attempted to move his or her car away from the area of the accident. When i left for my swim this morning i took a look down the block to see the damage. Two parking meters and a parking sign. Good work indeed...

as we approach the busiest bar night of the year—amateur night, i want everyone to take care as you decided to get in your death machines after drinking too much. Most of you will be too drunk to drive, so don't, there is no excuse, and i'll tell you what—anyone caught drinking and driving on my block with get a nine iron to the head courtesy of the hit squad...

for those of you in the weeds, the hit squad is a consortium of individuals banded together to rid the world of those deemed to be harmful to society and that's all you'll ever need know...

it occurred to me that maybe the driver was trying to steal the coins from the parking meters. But there are better ways to accomplish this...

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

beet update...

i received a comment as per my beet burger post from Zacconi, whom, besides having quite possibly the best last name ever, writes here. i received her comment while on the road, stating that she had recently posted about her love of beets by opening: 'dear beet'...

as i went about my day i began to draw inspiration from her beginning 'dear beet'. i began musing my own little love letter to beets. "Why are you so fierce and angry? You are beet red—oh, now i get it..." When i returned home from my adventure i took a look at Zacconi's post and realized her ode was excellent and there was no need for improvement, so i abandoned mine...

so enjoy Zacconi's de to the beet, linked above, and for old time's sake...

'KAREN, THAT'S ALL WE HAD!!'—funny thing about that line, upon watching 'Goodfellas' i found that the Cowboy and i had delivered that line to you incorrectly, it is actually...

'THAT'S ALL WE HAD!...KAREN!', as if it were two different statements. If its all the same i will continue to use the former for the sake of continuity...

what'cha eating...vol 2...

my girlfriend's a vegetarian. Not one of those 'i saw a movie about slaughterhouses' vegetarians or 'i smoke a lot of pot and think i'm one with the planet vegetarians' or any of the like. The Cat Mom has been a vegetarian since she was six. That's commitment, pal...

so, as Quentin Tarantino once wrote in regards to vegetarian girlfriends, that "basically makes me a vegetarian." Not quite. You might recall my love of a certain sandwich. But if i plan on spending the rest of my life with this woman i should know something about cooking for a vegetarian. Enter the beet burger...
beets get a bad rap. i think most people realize that beets are a one of the best things you can eat. They stimulate the blood, clean the kidneys, liver and urinary tract along with things that all vegetables do like fight infection and promote cell growth and what not. You want a hangover remedy, get yourself some beet salad, you'll be right as rain in no time. Now the beet burger...

two beets—2 medium, or 3 large. You could use canned beets but fresh is the way to go
half a carrot, half an onion, two cloves of garlic—roast the veggies until they are soft
millet flour—a cup, cooked in boiled water. i used to use flax seed but the millet works so much better.
wheat germ—1/2 cup
two pieces of wheat toast—blend the toast with the wheat germ and mix in with the cooked and cooled millet.

blend the vegetables together and add to the millet. Mix well, let it sit in the frig for an hour, break it out make patties and enjoy. i get up to six patties.
cook them with a little oil and enjoy the shit of them. i had them with double fiber english muffins, which were kick ass, and a little mustard—because i love mustard...

do yourself a favor and eat some beets once and a while, or any vegetable and if you won't take it from me, take it from Frank...

Friday, November 20, 2009

coming to a theater near you...

...Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Mysterious Product Placement...


fish, chips...taquitos?...

why do we never get an answer, when we're knocking on the door...

well, Knick fans, here's you answer...


literally, the Answer himself, Allen Iverson. The man who gave us the single greatest moment in sports journalism. Knick fans and haters alike, prepare yourself. This could be an absolute disaster. Or, it could ultimately be the turning point in a franchise that hasn't had a star since Patrick Ewing used his fingers instead of his common sense. Either way it should be real entertaining...

a moment of clarity, first. i had the privilege of covering Big East Basketball for several years and went on to retain good seats at St. John's games for many years after my graduation from the university. In my time watching, studying and enjoying the Big East game i have never seen anyone as quick on the court as Iverson, except for Omar Cook but he, believe it or not, was even more of a space case. Clearly, though, Iverson is the basketball player i've seen with my own eyes, and i saw that kid from Cleveland a few weeks back. No one has done more with less than Iverson, he once brought a team of rag tag CBA players to an NBA Final, with the Philadelphia 76ers. That kid from Akron, has had NBA level talent around him last year and couldn't beat the Orlando Magic and their one trick pony of an offense. Iverson is an enigma wrapped in tattoos to be sure and every basketball pundit under the sun is calling this the mistake of century. They might be right, but what do the Knicks have to lose?...

Iverson will bring scoring and backcourt defense. It will be swift and just. It could very well take this 2-9 squad above water and possibly meet the 37 win plateau i had in mind for them. It could get them into the playoffs. David Lee is a double double machine, and an athletic power forward works well with a guy like Iverson. Lee's ability to rebound from outside the lane, or the weak side makes him perfect glass cleaner for a guy who darts and slashes to the rim like Iverson. Lee's ability to shoot the 15 footer also makes him a nice kick-out option for Iverson when he invariably gets himself in trouble...

Toney Douglas will be this team's point guard, bet on it. The other thing you can bet on is he will not lose minutes, ultimately, he and Iverson can make a stifling pair in the backcourt. Chris Duhon will eventually be regulated to off the bench status, permanently. Larry Hughes has played himself into a position to demand minutes at the two-guard as well, where i see Iverson doing his best work, but that would leave limited minutes for Hughes let alone Nate Robinson. i love Nate. i love the shake and i love the bake, but he may just not fit in the system coach Mike Dantoni envisions for this team. Iverson doesn't either, but he is 34 and will only be getting a one year deal. Nate is worth something on the open market. A microwave offensive talent and dynamo on defense, he still comes cheap and won't count against the cap next year. There should be teams clamoring for this guy, let's give 'em what they want. Robinson, traded for another expiring contract and a first round pick would be perfect...

see this is the problem, the Knicks, even if they finish dead last in all of the NBA, even if they get the most ping pong balls in the bin for the lottery—there will be know first round pick for Knicks at the end of this debacle. It is Isiah Thomas' last gift. So why not sign Iverson? Why not bring in a top flight scorer, a finisher. Someone who can give this team a chance to be a contender or at least interesting until the summer shopping spree begins...

the Knicks aren't terrible, they are playing terrible—there is a difference. They have no direction, no confidence and no need to worry about their jobs, because for most of them, come this summer they already know they will be unemployed. This season was to be a lab test—shake it up and see who comes out at the end of the year. But Al Harrington is stunting the development of Wilson Chandler. Danillo Gallinari looks like he could be real special, but he is two years away from being that. Jordan Hill probably should have been Brandon Jennings, but like i said, Douglas is this team point guard of the future, and i have no issue with that. Hill will only see time in blowouts and when Dantoni decides to reach for a breath of fresh air from his bench. He won't get any real time until 2010, after the roster is reshuffled and he develops a potent offensive game. Jared Jefferies is an abomination. Eddy Curry actually looked like he could play basketball the other night in Indiana and 20 minutes a game from a bona fide post presence will make this team better in a hurry. Without Iverson, Dantoni has to make decisions about his rotation. Douglas needs to get more minutes than Duhon, Chandler needs to be featured more than Harrington and the addition of Curry needs to be handled with kid gloves. With Iverson, the decisions will be made for him. 35 minutes, 25 points, a couple of steals and assists a game. There is no one on the roster who can provide that night after night—i'll take it...

here's the news, Lebron James is not coming here. He wasn't coming here before draft night, not after Grandmaster Flash serenaded him two weeks ago, and he won't be coming in July. Jay-Z is moving to LA and the Clippers might get real just yet. He won't be coming here unless David Stern finally gives us our boobie prize for propping up Michael Jordan all of those years ago—because it should have been us versus Phoenix in 1993. But instead the Knicks got all the cutting and pasting of the post Isiah era and with nothing more than an opportunity at a couple of tier 2 free agents. Maybe we can grab a guy like Chris Bosh, but more likely, the youth you see on this roster is more or less the core of tomorrow's team...

ultimately the Knicks would be best suited at overpaying for restricted free agent Rudy Gay and picking up a Carlos Boozer to bolster the team's paint game. So why not have a little fun this season and let loose the Answer on Madison Square Garden. The worst that can happen is a couple of hilarious press conferences and the door hitting him on the ass on the way out next June...

the question is simple, would you rather the Knicks fade into the summer without a wimper or make some noise as they march into their uncertain future?...

you have your Answer...

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

M-I-C-K-E-Y...

let's talk birthdays. Apparently today is Mickey Mouse's birthday. Hip, hip, hooray...

its hard to get excited for an event like this, i've always been a Bugs Bunny guy. You see, Bugs always told it like it is. Mickey has been lying and manipulating for 81 years. Its not his fault, his creator fostered his politics along with his existence. Alleged backing of the Nazis, Joe McCarthy's best friend, corporate greed, i mean— i'm not sure if there is anything on this planet that disgusts me more than Disney...

Kevin Smith goes so far as to accuse Disney of breaking the first commandment in his film, 'Dogma'. Of course he never mentions Disney by name and its not Mickey Mouse that is used in this dichotomy, but a cow. Moobie. The idea is the same though, a large scale media corporation that has made kids believe Mickey Mouse is bigger than god. Now, i'm not a believer so that doesn't bother me any, i have other fish to fry...

for instance, Disney is responsible for Britney Spears, a crime against humanity in its own right. They along with Fox have cornered the market on sports television and actually made it unenjoyable to watch. If i am subjected to one more piece of cross promotion i might go on a killing spree. With its considerable financial might Disney is capable of shoving anything it wants down your throat and you are made to like it, after all Mickey says so...

the last straw came as i strolled through Roosevelt Field mall not too long ago and notice that Disney open a store where you can come in and plan your vacation to Disney World, because in these hard financial times why shouldn't you come to Disney World and plunk down the last of your good money...

so excuse me, if you are a Mickey Mouse fan, freak or lover, i could care less if it his birthday. Its only another reason for the Disney corporation to take another dollar from you...

i'm sure you are well aware that christmas is coming. How about passing on the Disney Store and giving you children, nieces or nephews something they can build, be creative with or learn with, rather than another videotape with a talking dog or some other Disney inspired nonsense...

happy birthday you fascist pig...

Sunday, November 15, 2009

anatomy of an image...

its funny what a $20 poker night, and onion bagel—toasted with butter, a prompt Q46 and a little 'Hit the Lights' can do for you...

at least, that's what you think...

true, when i came up with the idea of taking this shot, after my long walk down the E and F platform at Union Tpke Station in Kew Gardens, 'Hit the Lights', the opening track of Metallica's seminal debut "Kill 'Em All" was indeed blaring through from my IPod. But after a readjustment of distance and a second attempt thwarted by camera displacement, "Hit the Lights' had gone silent. To keep the spirit of the original vision alive i continued with the mosh pose against the graffiti background to Sade's "Nothing Can Come Between Us"...

a picture is worth a thousand words, sure. But those words don't necessarily represent the truth...

enjoy your Sunday, J-E-T-S!!!...

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

when the world is running down...

make yourself a bacon sandwich...

my version of the classic BLT:

bacon—use turkey, use soy if your vegan but don't forget the bacon. KISS once wrote god gave rock and roll to you. The success of KISS helps disproves the existence of god. The existence of bacon, however, is an excellent argumentin favor of a supreme being...

romaine and radicchio—if your going die, die with your roughage on...

plum tomatoes—Lenny Lamps says tomatoes look like little abortions. Lenny watches NASCAR...

bauer's mustard on whole Grain bread—Bauer's is the official mustard of Sandwich Masters tm, whole grain bread is the official bread of your healthy colon...

cheddar Cheese—'nuff said

what did you have for lunch?...

politics of the inane...

ladies and gentlemen, your nominee for Antichrist...

i propose that free forehead tattoos be administered for every buyer of this book. i think we all need to know what we're up against here. i would like to be able to identify every single ignorant hayseed that puts down their hard earned money for what i can only surmise will be a flag waving treatise in modern fascism...

that's not a fair assessment, there is nothing modern about this woman. She's an insult to the greatest women of our history. But make no mistake, and remember this when you do; this woman has just announced her candidacy for President...

oh ma' lawd!!...

looks like the wolf has a lot more work to do...

seen all good people vol 1...

she was a train wreck. The figure of a snowman—or snow-woman in this instance. She was stylish, they always seem to be, despite the Michelin appearance. Her hair was strung out from the abuse of one too many hundred colorings. Currently it resembled the white heat of an electrical arc fault, the bright blinding spark that has killed many a working mechanic. Hideously ghetto, but not it was not what gave me the most pause. As she stood up to exit the bus it appeared, at least from my vantage point, that she produced a small child from her immense back side—from the very seat she was sitting in. The boy looked out of sorts, not from being in the womb, he was somewhat grown and dressed. This was a look of consternation, worrying about where he had come from. i was worried about where he was going...

i found him unsettling from the get. He was a happy enough sort, a short smile etched upon his weathered face, but he seemed askew in his walking shoes. He crept up around me, made his presence known over my blaring play list and immediately showed his ignorance for the native tongue. He showed me a scrap of paper, pointing his wrinkled finger at it. Below what seemed to me to be Chinese characters, they could have Japanese—i'm not familiar with either, was the word 'AIRPORT'. I did my best to explain to the gentleman, knowing he was standing there for some time, in a sort of limbo, that he was not going to get to the airport by standing near me. i as waiting for the Q1 or Q36 bus, to QV, there is no airport in Queens Village. I tried to direct him to walk downstairs to the subway station, where he might find a map or MTA clerk who could misdirect him, as they are masters of misdirection. He wandered off a few steps and then stood in place, as he had since i emerged from the subway. I wondered about the person who knowingly sent this poor man on this wild goose chase when it was more than apparent he lacked the acumen to speak or understand English. What kind of sick world are we living in anyway?...

i couldn't shake them. Like two immovable obstacles to my every step, they stood steadfast. i ducked into sports looking for the Ron Darling title, they clogged my left exit, upstairs to classics—no Jules Verne!, again they hovered. Over to fantasy and back downstairs to the magazine rack. They withstood every shuck and jive and all the while not once realizing their awesome ability to impede the progress of mankind. Oblivious to the world around them, they bantered and debated the inane. i darted for a cup of coffee for the walk across the parking lot that was to come in the cool evening air and they again thwarted me. But just then, they floated towards the pastry case like a hovercraft, allowing me the opening i had waited for. Triumphant, i ordered and awaited the pouring of my coffee while i dug into the small pocket of my over-stuffed back pack. Why in the world, with price and tax a given, would a business choose to charge $2.01? Is there a zinc conspiracy i don't know about?...

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

an open letter to the GOP...

every summer as a Boy Scout, Troop 158 and myself would sojourn to a summer camp in Narrowsburg, NY called Ten Mile River. We enjoyed the outdoors, collected merit badges, caused mayhem with motorboats and camp signs. We also ate bad food and drank a liquid affectionately dubbed GOP, for Good Old Piss...

just thought i'd begin with a little imagery...

the House of Representatives voted, narrowly, to pass the much ado about nothing Health Care Reform. The vote was 220-215 for the bill that has been watered down from an impressive piece of legislation, that would help Americans and finally call out the Health Care Industry for what it is, a profit mongering group of soulless corporate shills with several lawmakers sipping at their teet protecting the interests of the free market. Like the free market ever needed any protecting. One lone Republican voted for the bill, which extends coverage to millions more Americans but still forces folks to pay out of pocket for services that the rest of the civilized world does not. Let's give a round of applause for Congressman Anh "Joseph" Cao, whom in his infinite wisdom decided to back this bill because it is what his Democratic constituency would want. As if every Republican constituency in this country would want to continue to pay exorbitantly for their health care rather than allow the great and exulted Free market to adjust for a true public option, one that actually creates competition—one of the true cornerstones of American Capitalism. Its the same old story. When big business is threatened it runs to the government for help and there, always with arms wide open, is the right wing...

this is a Republican Party that believes in smaller government, but thinks it knows how you should live your life in the privacy of your own home. Believes in letting the Free Market flow without regulation until its most influential members cry poor and beg to be bailed out. They believe in the right for a person to choose to have as many guns as they desire, procure them with ease and without fail but choose to do nothing to prevent or even deter the crimes such a laissez faire attitude produces. They continue to allow the gasbags of their party rifle off ridiculous accusations that the the US Mint is taking the god out of our money, or that the President is a racist tool of Islam. And a ton of that talk comes from a network owned by a foreigner. But who cares, we import everything these days, while exporting our natural resources, that includes our intelligence and our jobs. It is a scary thought that cyber-espionage is possible, simply because the computer chips made for defense department computers and the power grid and banking computer systems are made by the Chinese. Has anyone ever actually read the Iliad?...

so i was wondering. Is this the party you want? Is this what you envisioned when you registered to vote. A party that cares more for the Free Market's bottom line than yours? A party whose pundits and representatives blur the truth and slander its opponents? If it is, then i am at a loss. If this is the Republican Party you stand up with, then so be it. I can't argue with that. The problems that plague this country today are the same that plagued us six years ago—bad economy, poor education, poor health care and war. This Republican Party of yours had a congressional majority and a President in the White House and couldn't solve these problems. But if you want to stand with this ignorance, i suppose i can't stop you...

this is not a great health plan. It allows for more people to have access to health care and that is important. It is feckless in its attempt to force any change upon an industry that has raped us and made us pay for the use of a rape kit. But this whole fight over the past six months is not about this bill. Its about the next bill, and the one after that, and after that. Change comes in small increments. I couldn't possibly expect the Free Market to acquiesce to the demands of practical thought, not today. But this bill is a compromise. The left came sown from the mountain and met more than half way the despots in the Republican Party as well as their own. The left had to sell its soul once again to get a lousy majority of centrist hacks who can't see the forest for the trees. And yet the Republican Party refuses to come to meet in the middle. They want to keep pulling things back. Attaching Anti-Abortion Legislation to the bill. and dooming it to a longer floor fight and possible extinction...

this is your party, you have to answer for it...