weighing patience as a virtue...

Omar Minaya is imploring Met fans to have patience. He's got some set on him. Its difficult not to be impatient given the franchise's recent run amok. Forget the current ownership and management regime, Met fans have been served a yearly sack of fresh heartbreak since Dwight Gooden sniffed 1987 away. Listen folks, i was born into this. I have autograph pictures of John Sterns, Joel Youngblood AND Steve Henderson—what you got? At least i had Frank Cashen and Nelson Doubleday to temper the Wilpons or should i say Wilpon—back then, Jeff Wilpon was about as relevant in the organization as Jeffy from the Family Circle. So after the last few days with the sky falling and all, as well as a press conference with the sphinx himself, Omar would have us believe he and the organization have a plan and you know what? i think i believe him...

Did the Mets miss out on Roy Halladay or was Halladay calling the shots? Was Reyes actually in any trade conversation? Doesn't matter. The Mets don't have Cliff Lee or Kyle Drabeck, so they never had a chance. The Phillies have him, along with the rest of their core and a brand new sure handed third baseman with it for at least the next two years. The Phillies have made every move they could possibly make to assure themselves a stake in the big game until at least 2011, when the team's entire core does a free agent walk leaving Halladay all by his lonesome. They can't sign em' all...

Did we drop the ball by not signing Lackey? Eh, $80-85 million should be enough to get Cliff Lee next year, what's the rush? There is none, the Phillies are a better team regardless, the Phils will still take the division no matter who the Mets bring in. The team does have a chance at a wild card if they are healthy and fill some holes with quality baseball players. The Mets should be thinking about 2011 and beyond...

so how about this plan of Omar's?

i have no issue with signing Jason Bay. He is a very good bat. Especially when you put him in the mix with Reyes, David Wright and Carlos Beltran. Matt Holliday is younger and might have be a better offensive player but i have an issue with a guy who pulls the old Ahmad Abdul Rahim in the playoffs. Bay may not be Joe Rudi or Barry Bonds in their defensive primes, but he didn't drop any easy fly balls...

Nobody wants to sign Bengie Molina for more than two years. So don't. Molina has one place that will give him a three year deal and that's Columbia House. He'll sweat it and us and then sign for two, start in 2010 and be the grandpa playing once a week in 2011, or after Thole is deemed ready for everyday consumption...

Pitching?, keep it cheap and exciting. Jason Marquis wants to pitch for the Mets. OK, son, enjoy your one-year deal. Kelvim Escobar, you want in?, the price of a minor league deal is yours. Ben Sheets? Erik Bedard, Chien Meng Wang? Remember, we're not going to beat the Phillies to the top of the division, why spend too much when you can hit a goldmine instead. Jenrry Mieja and Johnathan Niese will be ready in 2011 and i still believe in Mike Pelfrey, especially at only 26 years old and he will eventually be this team's horse. John Maine is a question, i'd rather not wait around for the answer, but if you can't get value for him, you hope for a good year that eats away at his rep and trade him for some real value in July...

You don't like Daniel Murphy at first? Maybe you didn't watch any games after July. i did, and i saw a 24 year old get thrown into the fire, handle that, a slump and a benching only to finish strong and turn himself into a pull hitter, who started to find that Pepsi Porch routinely. Double in the corner. Murphy, if nothing else will be chip for use in July to make this team better. If you want first base to be any better you grab a guy like Mark Derosa. He gives you a right handed platoon at first and a break at 5 other positions. The guy can hit, and if we're devoid of good pitching performances, we'll need all the bats we can get...

There is fruit on the vine. Thole, Mejia, Niese, Ruben Tejada, and Ike Davis—all probably ready for 2011. If Fernando Martinez can finally put together a full season in Triple A count him in for '11. Wilmer Flores won't be too far behind 2012 or so. There are reasons for optimism. And patience. Maybe this is Minaya's grand master plan. Why try to go for it all, when it just isn't there yet. The clock is running on Beltran and Johan Santana, sure, but Wright and Reyes are kids, and there is still time to decide if they are right for this franchise in the future. Spending wisely and giving the little we have in the minors time develop might just be a good idea. If that's, in fact, what Minaya has in mind, then i like how he's thinking. They brought in Wally Backman to breath down necks. Backman had a job as manager of the Arizona Diamondbacks a few years back before this countries ass-backward value system jumped up to bite him the ass. i have to believe the only reason he was hired was to take over the major league job, so fear not Met fans, if things get shaky for Jerry Manuel, there is help about...

So give a little patience Met fans, its not like you've been waiting as long for a championship as us Knick fans...

nobody beats the Biz..

it's true. Nobody, but nobody beats the Biz...

Biz Markie has rapped and chilled with the legendary Juice Crew, and he appears in the video for the seminal Rob Base mega-hit 'It Takes Two.' He has released his own classic records like 'Goin' Off' and 'The Biz Never Sleeps.' He has even sung 'Bennie and the Jets' with the Beastie Boys. Lately you might have heard him here or seen and heard him here...

i guess my question is; Why hasn't biz hit the big time? i see the Biz with a talk show, a movie deal, a sit-com something. Tell me he wouldn't blow Sponge Bob or Barney out of the water hosting a kids show. Come on, someone give Marcel some dap. If i had my way the dude would be sitting lead anchor on CNN in place of Lou Dobbs...

this is a guy who had to forfeit royalties because of a landmark copyright case that changed the face of hip hop. His song 'Alone Again' ripped a sample from the song 'Alone Again (Naturally)' by Gilbert O'Sullivan. O'Sullivan sued him instead of thanking the Biz for making him remotely relevant again. The court decision requires all artists to clear their samples before releasing their records and got Biz bounced from his record contract. That's all fine and good, but do you really think the Biz is getting paid by Heiniken for using his song? Regardless where the sample comes from, ('You got What I Need,' Freddie Scott, 1968), i'm sure the Biz isn't waiting by the mailbox waiting for a check from Heiniken. i know Freddie Scott isn't...

there he is right now, above, actually crying about the loot he has lost and the loot he's not getting. Blues for the Biz indeed, he deserves a better agent...

if you need somebody with some real ideas for your career, by all means Biz, give me a call...

in the meantime, allow me to share some more of your timeless work...

my imaginary interview with...

Amy Adams...

Miss Adams has a new film coming to a theater near you Christmas Day...

Ms. Adams, does it tire you to make the same movie over and over again?...

It sure as hell is making us very irritable...

the hippocratic oath...

i could care less about Brian Kelly. i've seen his type before. Upstart coach with smaller program leap frogs to bigger program and bigger coffers. Sometimes these guys become Urban Meyer, but most times they end up becoming Ty Willingham...

i see how the University of Cincinnati could be upset. Two days ago they had an undefeated, BCS Bowl bound football team complete with a head coach—hell, they woke up in the morning with all of that in place. They probably ordered a club sandwich in the early afternoon, thinking they still had a head coach. By nightfall that was not the case. But what i don't understand is how a University that according to insider sources that i trust, paid former Lincoln High School basketball star Lance Stephenson to attend Cincinnati, could get so upset about someone taking the money...

how about Mardy Gilyard? He's a star in the making and hopefully heading on his way to being drafted by the NY Jets, although the Judge would say that us Jets fan will be cursed by getting Tim Tebow, which might not be so bad—we could run the old '747 offense' to counteract the 'wildcat'—point is, he is going to be taking the money, and that's ok, right. Several Bearcats will. I mean; when did college football grow some integrity? Lighten up fellas, is Kelly a bit mealy-mouthed? Sure. But should we get Dr. Johnny Fever to lead the charge to Kelly's crucifixion?...

i don't think i have to go any further on this, except to say that i believe Kelly will fail, ultimately, due to the fact that Notre Dame hasn't figured out that to really succeed in 21st century college football the University needs a conference, not the coach of the month...

i wonder what Bearcat alum, the cowboy feels about this, but i haven't seen him since a chance glance through the shadows a few winters ago, so i'm not holding my breath to find out...

day of the dead...

dec 8, the feast of the immaculate conception, as i was reminded by some sheep on facebook. But those of us who have to live in this world know better...

sure, today is also Jim Morrison's birthday and the anniversary of Dimebag Darrell's murder, both seminal moments in rock music but this planet lost a true mind and heart 19 years ago today in John Lennon...

today is the day that decaying body of JD Salinger arises from its resting place and kicks Mark David Chapman in the balls over and over again. At least, i dream that this is the case. i've said it many times before, that in losing Lennon we didn't just lose a musician or a merely a member of the Beatles. We've lost musicians since with less than a ripple in the landscape, and, with all due respect, clocks didn't stop when George Harrison died. If you're my age, ask you mother or father if they know who Dimebag is or Kurt Cobain, or Ian Curtis, chances are they don't. But Lennon, they remember Lennon—your grandparents remember Lennon...

John Lennon was a thinker, and in a world increasingly devoid of such men and women and i save my tears for these individuals. So, if you please, allow me this requiem...

merry christmas John, we miss you...

look out santino, johnny utah is on your tail...

Keanu Reeves is producing and starring in a new film, currently in production down my street called Henry Crimes. It co-stars Vera Farmiga and James Caan. The following is an excerpt of my imaginary conversation with James Caan...

'hey Jimmy Caan, what's happening, brother?'

'do i know you, kid?'

'nah, but you sure do know the doorway of my apartment.'

'oh, i'm sorry.'

'no big deal Jimmy Caan, is that for all your boys keeping me up half the night with all of

those trucks rolling in, or just for standing in front of my door like that?'

'what? We're making a movie here, kid. Ya' mind?'

'really, is that what this is? I mean; its a Keanu Reeves flick, right? Probably one of those

ne'er-do-well but makes good in and gets the girl in the end. Your the heavy right?'

'get out of here, kid, you're going to get hurt.'

'i'm just trying to be friendly here, Jimmy Caan—'

'stop calling me Jimmy Caan—'

'—tell you what, let's let bygones be bygones, come upstairs, i'll make you a sandwich.

We can watch Las Vegas. you can give me the skinny on that Josh Duhamel character, like

it seems like he's the only dude with a cock in that town...'

at this point i imagine the granite fist of James Caan crashing my face with enormous power...

end scene...

throwing wood on the fire...

today, in Indianapolis, Major League Baseball convenes its Winter Meetings. A four day stretch of glad handing and misappropriation of funds, along with . Normally, during the meetings, rule changes are discussed. Along with representatives from every team, player agents get together and talk turkey regarding trades, free agency and other transactions. It is all part of what baseball fans refer to as 'the Hot Stove League'...

personally, i don't put much into the meetings—especially being a Met fan. GM Omar Minaya is going to spend the next four days signing his third catcher in a week and try to peddle off Luis Castillo's contract off on some unsuspecting club with an embattled outfielder. Who knows, maybe Omar will finally figure it out, now that his job is on the line, but i could care less. i want my baseball back—baseball before it got all fouled up by this promotional three-ring circus nonsense, they are calling baseball these days. i blame Fox Sports, ESPN, the owners and the players association. Money grubbing whores that make the ladies of the evening some of them are bound to be spending their time with in downtown Indianapolis look absolutely pristine. i think they owe me. I think they owe the baseball fan. Here's mhy list of demands from the winter meetings...

1. An End to interleague play— It is a plague on all of our houses. The Mets play the Yankees 6 times every year. The St. Louis Cardinals play the Kansas City Royals 6 times a every year. Hey, as a Met fan, i'll let it be known—i'm not ducking the Yankees, but there is something inherently wrong with a system that condones uneven scheduling such as this. The San Francisco Giants play the Oakland A's, the AL West's perennial-small market-bottom feeders. The Giants' rivals the LA Dodgers get to play the LA Angels the AL West's perennial division leaders. Where is the justice? Now one cares anymore, the experiment has failed. Ace the interleague and restore some of the great rivalries of the past without sacrificing division play. There was a time when the Mets and Cardinals were big time rivals. The Mets and Cubs too. Why shouldn't the Dodgers and Giants visit New York more than once a season—they are the reason why the Mets even exist!...

2. Adjust the schedule— There should be more day games, there should be double headers that are back to back and scheduled, there shouldn't be such a thing as November baseball! I know, its a money issue, but these fans have withstood all of the steroid bullshit, all the primadonna's and free agency garbage. We are in a recession and no matter what your government promises, even when things get better, they will never be the same. Its time for professional sports to tighten their belt and give a little back. Its all we have, but if you keep fucking with us fans, we will stop showing up, i mean; i hear that the New Jersey Shore show is a riot. Schedule more day games. Do you see the Cubs losing money. They pack their house every single day of the year and the majority of those games are played during the day. Scheduling more double headers would save days and prevent November baseball from occurring, maybe even shave the amount of games down to 154 and...

3. Move the World Baseball Classic to November— i know what i said about November baseball but this isn't the same. It only happens every two years, and you can play it in warm weather climates. World Series ends, take two weeks, start up the WBC. WBC ends, everybody goes home. See you next Spring. Done.

4. Threaten Contraction—There's a dirty word—contraction. Teams like the Kansas City Royals and Pittsburgh Pirates take luxary tax money every winter, and stow it away, never to be seen again. A team that can't make money in today's age of televised sports is not worth the uniform their name is printed upon. Especially in these two cities where, literally, if you build it (a team), they (the fans) will come. These are two great baseball towns. The Pirates won the very first World Series for lamb sakes. Kansas City, along with having the greatest BBQ joint on the planet, came out in droves in the days of George Brett, and they have a beautiful ballpark and the city as a whole is on the rise. Either start spending, or fold up the tent.

On the flip side, there's the idea of enacting a salary cap and floor. The Players Asscociation and players' business representatives would convulse to the point kinipshon under this circumstance, but simply put, you either agree to less money across the board for your players, or you agree to less teams for your players to play for. Its basic AIDA.

5. Let the All-Star game mean nothing— Its an All-Star game—that's it. Who thought it was a good idea for some other team's closer decide where game 7 World Series is played. Its retarded. Put an end to it. If the game is ties, you play rock/paper/scissors or, and how about this—expand the rosters.

too many times in the past the powers that be in Major League Baseball have tinkered with the game to the point of madness. It truly is a simple and beautiful game. As Judge Roughneck and i always used to comment when walking up to old Shea Stadium, with the words 'Baseball is for Kids' emblazoned on the back of the ballpark's scoreboard—'baseball's not for kids, its for us'. it is for us, all of us, how about giving something back to those of us who love it unconditionally...

now get to work, coffee is for closers—bitches...