look out santino, johnny utah is on your tail...

Keanu Reeves is producing and starring in a new film, currently in production down my street called Henry Crimes. It co-stars Vera Farmiga and James Caan. The following is an excerpt of my imaginary conversation with James Caan...

'hey Jimmy Caan, what's happening, brother?'

'do i know you, kid?'

'nah, but you sure do know the doorway of my apartment.'

'oh, i'm sorry.'

'no big deal Jimmy Caan, is that for all your boys keeping me up half the night with all of

those trucks rolling in, or just for standing in front of my door like that?'

'what? We're making a movie here, kid. Ya' mind?'

'really, is that what this is? I mean; its a Keanu Reeves flick, right? Probably one of those

ne'er-do-well but makes good in and gets the girl in the end. Your the heavy right?'

'get out of here, kid, you're going to get hurt.'

'i'm just trying to be friendly here, Jimmy Caan—'

'stop calling me Jimmy Caan—'

'—tell you what, let's let bygones be bygones, come upstairs, i'll make you a sandwich.

We can watch Las Vegas. you can give me the skinny on that Josh Duhamel character, like

it seems like he's the only dude with a cock in that town...'

at this point i imagine the granite fist of James Caan crashing my face with enormous power...

end scene...