sorry al, wrong year...

Chinese New year 2008. Year of the Ox. Yes, I was born on a brand new day and all that--pay attention...

35 and half years have past since I came waltzing out of the womb with a scowl, I've been hit with bats, dropped on my face, given mutant tonsils, made radioactive, forced into retirement from tackle football, been mistaken for having scurvy, cut open, bled dry, chewed up spit out by the sunshine and dropped on my face again, although this time it was my own doing...

I've been away from the Constellation for a while now because I've been caught in my own upheaval, a re-dedication to keep my job, at least for the time being, getting back to the notebooks, making lists, playlists and throwing down new words--which will be featured here soon enough. I've changed residence, I lay my head at the Bastard's old place, I can't wait to lay my head on the belly of a certain kitty kat out west, but there is still time before that dream is fulfilled...

I got to tell you, 35 years, more often than not I've open my eyes every morning knowing that I was going to get kicked in the face. The universe has been unkind, truth be told, and believe me when I tell you that is not hyperbole. I have a lot to be thankful for, I know, and things could be worse, I could have been born into squalor in Africa, doomed to die illiterate and ashen, I could have been born into the untouchable caste in India, I could have been born in New Jersey. But there's no reason why I should have had to been put through half the shit I've been through, I just have been. But lately things are turning. For the first time in 35 years I'm opening my eyes without a flinch...

The job has been good to me since I got back from the pirate ship that was the state of Florida, I went through things there that I still haven't told people about, absolute breakdowns. I'm back in the pool and finally inching back to my playing weight of my youth, feeling strong and looking it. Again there have been times when all I saw was darkness, when I couldn't walk without feeling every step. I've awoken from the coma of my past relationships, middle finger attached and outstretched. The baggage finally left on the side of the road. I'm still a hater, but at least I don't hate myself...

Its amazing what you can do for yourself once you're given a fair shake. How crafty you can be? How creative? How invulnerable? I feel invincible right now, and not in some Billie Jean gonna flame out way--I have direction. I was discussing with my Kitten the intricacies of my universal theory. How if your born on a particular day, month, year, place--what have you, then the universe has marked you there. The same can be said about the Chinese new year, because it marks the years through a cycle where the universe is in congruence to its previous coming. Ox is ox, rat is rat, so on and so forth...

...sittin' there staring at traffic lights, wondering if the time would ever be right--he couldn't win. And what makes you stronger doesn't matter if you never put up a fight. And he knew that was right from the very first night so he pulled out his soul and he used it as knife. Brother needed his slice of life...

And so forth...